Thursday, March 15, 2012

How to look like a Skank.

As a makeup artist I am always people watching. Gathering ideas for future films or tv shows. I was in Vegas last weekend and found a plethora of reference material. I did find one that stood out above the rest. I call it "Skankalicious". It is the "uniform" of the club girl. No matter how thin or fat or tall or short this is the look. Period. So, I decided to teach you how to look like a skank.
1. Buy a piece of stretchy fabric. Preferably a latex and polyester blend. A half yard will do. Sew it up one side and make a tube.
2. Try it on. Don't worry about your body size or shape. You know it fits when half your boobs pop out at the top and the bottom lands right at the crease under your butt.

This is actually a bit long. 

3. Buy a pair of platform shoes that are at least 3 inches in the front and 6 inches high in the back. If you can walk without looking like Frankenstein, they are too short.



4. Be sure and wear enough makeup that you look absolutely nothing like yourself. In fact if your friends recognize you, go back home and add more.
5. Add extremely long extensions to your hair. Make sure they DO NOT match your hair color at all.

6. That's it! You are Skankalicious!
"Skankalicious" 2012

Actual photo I took at the club that inspired this post. Showing underwear is optional to achieve this look.

16 comments:

  1. Lol!! This is an amazing post. I kinda want to hang it on my wall so it can cheer me up whenever I'm in a bad mood, haha!

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    1. Actually, you should hang it by your closet so if you forget you have the instructions right there.

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  2. Surely the underwear flashing is completely mandatory!

    Let's hope the Jersey Shore crew read this!

    http://drowninginhoneystingless.blogspot.com/

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    1. The issue with flashing your underwear being mandatory is that not all skanks wear them...

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    2. omg you guys are killing me! Love this! LMAO!

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  3. I would even venture to say underwear itself is optional in most cases. And typically they like to save money by using concealer as lipstick in many cases as well.

    This post is brilliant. Especially the second to last photo. HAH! I only wish there was a makeup video tutorial to go with it, lol.

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    1. Oh Meredith, You read my mind. I am so gonna do a video tutorial!

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  4. LOL this is hilarious, now every time I see a girl like this, I will be reminded of your post

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  5. That is the funniest blog! I just laughed out loud while we were rolling, and then I had to read it out loud when we cut to my crew..... So funny! You made our day on the set of Harry's Law

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  6. LOL! LOVE the post! This is also the uniform in Miami. please, Please, PLEASE do an accompanying video tutorial! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Thanks for the laughs!! :D

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    1. Miami is in a class of it's own on the Skankilly dressed. I've never seen so many barely covered women's breasts in my life. Outside of a nursery that is.

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  7. This is beyond hysterical. Are you Chicago bound anytime soon? My guest room and I miss you terribly.

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    1. I wish! Putting out positive thoughts in that direction!

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  8. Never never NEVER would I do any of these things! Good to know I'm not 'skankalicious'! Haha

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  9. Lol, general uniform all over the world. I'll make sure I get a picture in the clubs from Romania. :))

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